Get fit and go to heaven

We all know there is a huge industry of dieting that coexist in a weird but efficient symbiosis with the fast-food industry. Every day we walk in a world that tries to sell you stuff at all costs. They make you feel guilty, they make you want things you didn’t know you need, and this scenario is perfect for the market. Unhappy people that think buying things would make them feel a little better is the way.

I think about myself as a weak, vague, vulnerable creature that doesn’t know how to control her own behavior every time any attempt of eating healthy ends up with a binge eating.

This insecurity translates to my every day life and it makes me a person that doesn’t believe that can do anything right, that doesn’t deserve good things, that doesn’t deserve the work she has, or the love of others.

It makes me feel insecure about things any other people would say I’m good at it. I think about myself as someone who doesn’t deserve anything. Why? Because I’m weak, I can’t take care of myself, I destroy my body one day at a time.

It’s a dangerous combination when after years of trying to get healthier or, just skinny, you failed every single time and end up each time way more fat than before. You hate yourself a little more, and this is hard to digest when you have little to no tolerance to failure.

So, yes, it’s hard when a little girl’s biggest dream is to get older and skinny. When in your highest dreams you only picture yourself being in shape and therefore happy. Years go by and you are only getting fatter. You can’t accomplish any dream being thick.

I can’t fall in love, I can’t enjoy a successful career having extra fat on my legs. Probably I’m the result of living in a society that shames you and discriminates people for any reason that can think of. But for me, I still see it as a black and white panorama. I just need to be fit in order to be happy.

Even though I know that’s a silly thing to think, it’s a thought that lives on my mind since I was a little girl. Happiness won’t come with skinny arms, but I know for sure no fat girl gets to paradise.

Related posts:

I had a lot of trouble remember all the various steps in setting up and transferring an SSL certificates from an old domain to a new domain, so now that I recently did it, I wanted to document for…

A String is a class in Java and it can be seen as a collection or the sequence of characters. Strings are used as an object in Java. Java supports different methods for String Manipulation. In the…

And that is how I felt, and then I got addicted to the channel. What it does is hook you with the YouTube video title, and guess what the actual movie you are watching. Its most-watched video has…